Happiness is such an elusive emotion.
One day you're soaring on its wings,
the next you're looking about hoping to catch a glimpse
of its sunny magnificence,
trying to convince yourself it was real
and not just a memory of a fairy tale from childhood.

Over the years my recipe for happiness has changed.
Used to be, all I needed (or thought I needed)
was a knight in shining armor.
Then, it was the King and his kingdom,
next I just needed the kingdom,
I could rule.

What ingredients do I need today?

1) An infinite amount of love to give
and receive freely

2) A purpose, goal, destination,
I'm still working on it.

Those who have known
the greatest happiness
have opened themselves
to the most gut-wrenching sorrow.
It's a gamble, you have to play to win.
Or maybe those who have endured suffering
have a greater respect for joy,
can appreciate it wherever they find it,
the smell of a rose,
the sight of a baby,
an old couple holding hands.
And those who've lived their lives
in a heart numbing cocoon
of sanity, safety, and contentment
don't have the capacity for pure joy.
Or, maybe this is what I tell myself
in order to pick myself up,
dust off, and hop on again.
Back into the battle. -

By Alicia Titus
Written January 4, 1999